At the beginning of March, her facial feminization surgery was deemed necessary by three separate medical providers. FFS has changed substantially since its initial development. Different practitioners, aesthetic preferences, and ideas about what it means to be beautiful, feminine, and normal have all impacted the field, making it increasingly popular and desirable for transfeminine people with varied transition goals. Among many of them, it is considered a matter of life or death, or, at least, a gateway to a much better quality of life. The procedure makes the difference between someone passing and someone being targeted for anti-trans harassment, and it helps alleviate the dysphoric discomfort associated with being scrutinized and misgendered. When we spoke on the phone in March, she told me about childhood memories of crying while looking at herself in the mirror; though she didn't think she was ugly, she knew the face she saw was just not hers.
The Complicated Process of Undergoing Facial-Feminization Surgery, and Why I Did It
How Essential Is My Facial Feminization Surgery?
I took a selfie in the back of the kitchen of the hotel where I worked during the first year of my transition. My face bathed in fuchsia light, I stared into the camera at 45 degrees, my preferred angle, still, because it makes my jaw and my chin look smaller. I look very different from the girl in that selfie now. I no longer wear turtlenecks, nor do I part my hair to the side. Only rarely do I put on eyeliner or eye shadow these days. My jawline and the shape of my chin, though, remain. They would have looked different if things had gone according to plan.
Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS)
The 10 hour operation was performed by Douglas Ousterhout, M. Doug Ousterhout is the surgeon who pioneered this highly aggressive form of facial-bone reconstructive surgery for transsexual women. The aim of FFS surgery is to eliminate or reduce many of the cross-gender-related deformities of the facial bones caused by late-pubertal testosterone masculinization in MtF transsexuals. Ousterhout, Jessica's page about surgery with Dr.
I laid down on a cold, steel table in the operating room and looked up at the fluorescent lights beaming down into my eyes. While taking a few shallow breaths, I began to graze the hard contours of my face with my fingers, knowing it would be the last time I would feel the square of my jaw, my long chin, the protruding bones in my forehead. For a moment, and only for a moment, I grieved the face of the girl who was forced to endure a male puberty. The girl who watched her face gradually masculinize over the years and who cried every day when she looked in the mirror.